Space, the final frontier...

[jonjel]

I was half listening to a radio report the other day telling me that a private company intend to launch a manned mission to Mars. And they state that since the journey time (round trip one presumes) will be circa 17 months they have decided to recruit a 'mature couple' as crew. The reasons being that a couple in a stable relationship will be able to spend months cooped up without the sort of problems encountered by others under similar circumstances. (From personal experience I think they are way off the mark, but I digress)

And this got me thinking. A mature couple, on a long journey, not a lot on TV, not much to look at out of the window would I suspect find ways of whiling away a few hours.

So I don't think the organisers of this trip have thought this through.

First, if said couple tried to indulge themselves with carnal pleasure, apart from the fact that it could be done upside down downside up on top or underneath without a problem or even knowing about it in a weightless environment there is still a slight problem.

Has no-one told the designers and planners of this mission that for every action there is an equal and opposite re-action (You see, well some of you, where I am coming from?)

I have tried to think of various ways, bungee cords, springs, Velcro and other means to prevent one or another of them burning their bums on the electric light bulb, but I am at a loss.

Has anyone of you bright scientists or engineers a solution to this problem?

(an Ignobel prize a while back was given for a paper 'Safe sex at zero degrees Kelvin'. I think the next could well be 'satisfactory sex at zero G')

[principled]

Jonjel,
I read an article about this today. Like you I have many misgivings. I would suggest that one essential feature would be for each of the couple to be hard of hearing, in that way they could switch off their hearing aids when harmony was threatened...as it surely would be! Alternatively, the designers could incorporate a shed for him so he can potter about growing his tomato plants and tending to his fuchsias in zero G?
As for the action and reaction problem, the first thing that springs (pun!) to mind is an upper and lower trampoline arrangement made from sun loungers. The distance between the upper and lower lounger could be adjustable so as to control the upward extent of the top person and the downward extent of the bottom one. There are risks however. Should the "up and down" frequency of the said couple coincide with the natural frequency of the springs on the sun lounger frame then there could be an unfortunate increase in amplitude.
I would suggest tethering as a solution, but ....
P

[jonjel]

Strange minds think alike!

I was thinking about a couple of air bags, with variable pressure depending on the mood, but yours is better as it is pro-active.

I suppose if they fell out during the journey 'we drifted apart' would take on a whole new meaning....

[alancalverd]

Some of the problems have been explored. Zero-g sex, at least, is apparently feasible, benefits from an absence of carpet burns or grass stains, and does not pose an intolerable burden or likelihood of suffocation on the (literally) subordinate partner when the upper body falls asleep. LEDs solve the problem of light bulb encounters.

I'm quite keen to volunteer, but for a one-way trip. There's little point in my coming back (I'm in my late 60's already) and by not wasting resources on the return flight, my sponsors could send several resupply ships. So instead of perhaps a few days on Mars, the scientific community could benefit from having a wholly expendable experimental physicist resident on the surface for at least 5 years.

I just need a partner. Any mature ladies who fancy a trial flight (OK, it's an old Cessna, but you'll get the general idea) and a promise of nookie are welcome to apply.

[jonjel]

I just need a partner. Any mature ladies who fancy a trial flight (OK, it's an old Cessna, but you'll get the general idea) and a promise of nookie are welcome to apply.

You are setting your sights too low Alan....

[mercury]

Mar 1, 2013 10:39:26 GMT 1 jonjel said:

You are setting your sights too low Alan....

[alancalverd]

Perhaps, but it's a bugger to land a jet on frosted grass and the countryside looks prettier from a slow, high wing aircraft.

[jonjel]

I was thinking more in terms of the partner than the method of transport.....

[alancalverd]

Enthusiasm is widespread, but expertise is rare among the young. I value both, and an hour de-icing a plane on a freezing airfield is a fine test of stamina and devotion. Many have failed.